When I wrote about support systems a few weeks ago there were a couple things I left out that I think are essential to survival in any situation in life. It seems in today's world both have become taboo subjects, but I would not have survived without either. To add a little bit of background, when I was still working, the company put me in a horrible situation. I had decided to report harassment and as a result was ostracized and bullied to the extreme. So much so, that my doctors and I agree, the stress I was under was more than my body could handle. I was put on long term disability which has now resulted in my approval for social security disability. I had people in my life supporting me through all this but two things specifically allowed me to survive.
First and foremost was my faith, and the faith of those around me. When you're struggling with anything in life, from stress to chronic pain, you need a positive outlet. When I was living in Colorado, a few months after my Celiac diagnosis, I spent three separate weeks in the hospital between Thanksgiving and New Years. During that time, I can count on one hand the number of days I did not receive a card in the mail from my parents’ church in St. Louis. These people had never met me before, and had only known my parents for a few months, but I received over 100 cards in about a six week period. I often think about that and wonder what people do when they don't have that type of support system in their lives.
It was during my work situation that I came to understand what Wednesday night Bible studies were for. I was so stressed out, getting sicker by the day; on more than one occasion I thought I was beyond my breaking point. But I had a place to go where everyone knew my name...everyone was happy to see me and genuinely cared about me; this time brought fresh breaths back into my life. I had a place to go for just an hour or so in the middle of the week where I could forget about the hopeless, upside down world I felt my life had become. It was one positive in a never ending ocean of negatives.
The second resource I recommend is seeking professional help. This especially seems to be a huge sore subject for people. As if seeing a psychologist makes you weak. To be honest, I used to carry that same belief and it was the doctor that gave me the Celiac diagnosis who encouraged me to go. She said "no one can go through years of illness followed by an immediate, total lifestyle change and do it alone." I was a little hesitant to go but found that seeking a neutral third party outlet was incredibly beneficial. When you share your fears and stresses about health and life with friends and family you typically get the same response: a "you can do it" attitude and a lot of "I know it's hard, but hang in there". There isn't anything wrong with that, in fact it is our job as loved ones to provide unwavering support. However, having someone to vent to that you can share your biggest fears and concerns with who isn't going to give you a hug and say "don't worry about it," is crucial. We need someone who is there to give a little perspective.
Through my illness and work situation, I have gone back time and again to talk to someone to gain perspective. It's not something I really even shared with more than four or five people, but it was central to my survival. I've learned ways to handle situations; like when you feel you're at your breaking point every time you open the refrigerator or walk down the aisle at the store not finding anything to eat because you feel trapped by your diet. Or, how to keep your spirits up when you wake up in the morning and before you even get out of bed your joints are aching and throbbing. And, even how to cope when you're stuck in what feels like a hopeless situation and you need stress relieving survival skills.
I would encourage everyone, regardless of situation, to reach out to both support systems. The skills you learn extend well beyond coping with serious illness or stressful situations. Learning to manage the stress in your life can considerably alleviate illness as well! Everyone needs a little help at some point in their life and getting that help and learning those skills can only benefit you.
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