I know I have mentioned before that my faith has been a huge factor in my coping with the medical ups and downs, and even the regular curve balls life has thrown my way. I have been thinking about it more and more lately from hearing about the struggles people around me are dealing with, and the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that I could not have survived this far without my faith.
When every day is a struggle to get out of bed and be out in the world it's incredibly easy, and somewhat inevitable that you'll eventually fall into depression. I have been through numerous days when I all want is the pain, nausea, throwing up, etc to just stop and feel I will do anything to make it stop. It's in those times that it hits me how terrible life would be if this was all there was. The idea that my life is going to be pain and suffering and being miserable and then I die and that's it, is too depressing to think about. It seems like such a waste. And in order to make it through those days I HAVE to believe that there is something more coming, that this life is not it, and someday I will be able to leave my body behind it, and with it my diet, my pain, my medications, my cares!
When I was still working, I was struggling with harassment from my employers so I taped the cliche "I know God will never give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much!" to my computer monitor so I was reminded that I could and would make it through. I have recently been thinking about that saying over and over again and also thinking about Philippians 4:13 which reads "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." So if He will never give me more than I can handle, but I can do all things through Him there should be no limit to what I can withstand.
All this thinking led me to another thought in regards to a lady I know who's physical struggles make mine look insignificant. I can tell by looking at her that she's struggling, and not feeling well, and heard her repeat that cliche "I know God will never give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much!" Immediately as she said it the thought popped in my mind, that like Job, not only did God trust her enough to handle so much, He knows she's strong enough to get through them.
Once I started applying my "revelation" to my own life, and struggles, my entire outlook on why I have been given so many struggles changed. Instead of being punished, or cursed, He has allowed to have the ailments I have because He knows that I can handle it. That's also why I have it and my sister, who comes from the same genetic material has none of the struggles I have. Whatever it is in me, I can handle it, even when in some of the hardest, darkest days it doesn't feel like it.
Of course it is not always as easily applied to my life than it is to type it. Everyday is a battle to stay positive and make the most of life, just like it is for everybody. But it's comforting to have some type of justification for the struggles I have faced, especially in my adult life, and those I will continue to face.
